- For the first few months after you disgard your RSGC laptop, you will still be inclined to smash anything - anything with an apple on it. Even real apples.
- After six months, much like smoking, your breathing will become constant again, and your heart-rate will once again drop to the speed of someone who uses a PC.
- After the first year, you will no longer feel the need to jab an imaginary "Control - click" every time you see somthing jumping up and down just below your field of vision.
- After two years, your risk of heart attack goes back down to that of a PC user.
- After two and a half years, the delusions begin to ebb, and you realise that Garageband is really not that cool after all.
- After three years, you will no longer need to check the back of the screen on every laptop you use to make sure the apple isn't shimmering after you've pushed "shut-down".
Unfortunitely, some effects of the Mac will always remain, such as the general, embedded hatred towards Macs, the inability to watch a movie without wondering whether your computer is about to go to sleep or not, and the uncontrollable, strange affliction for the shade of white.
